Deadbeat by Default

As I stated before I am blogging again. I don't have any of my old "Wisdom of Dave" stuff. There was some good stuff on there if I do say so myself. Now to my main point. How did I come up with "Deadbeat by Default?"

Well, I recently am divorced and it has not been a pretty year. If anything, it has been hard. But if anything good can come out of this I hope my story will I post tonight.

Last summer my then wife petitioned the court for a hearing. She got that granted and the date was set. When the date came long at last as most court dates do, the judge assigned to the case was out of town and another judge agreed to hear the case.

It was my wife on one side and me and my lawyer on the other when a man in a black robe appeared.  He appeared to be in a hurry, but decided to proceed.  First as I recall he listened to my ex-wife's request and then asked me for my finances and a very brief statement from my attorney.

Without really giving the weight of the case much thought the judge gave my ex everything she wanted and left me with a combined child support and alimony that I could not meet with my take home pay.

Now I really can't blame my ex for asking the court, I might have done the same. The fact is the judge was so biased against me for being male he made me pay. That was later confirmed to me by my same attorney who had seen another man in a similar case get slammed.

It is after that court hearing I coined the term "deadbeat by default."  I had walked into court expecting to pay child support and what I thought would be reasonable alimony. I walked out a huge debtor with more than in reality I could pay. The judge didn't give a damn. He went on about his job. He isn't stuck living the nightmare that resulted from his decision. I am.

I went into court that day and walked out having the debt that one might associate with a deadbeat dad. But not all parents who owe large amounts of child support or alimony are deadbeats just because of the debt. Like myself they want to pay support for their children and are willing to pay legal obligations such as alimony.  But a judge can make you poor overnight if he or she has an ax to grind.

Now I need to go back to court and hopefully get the support order reversed. I don't blame my ex, I blame the judge for granting such a rediculous child support and alimony combination that given my current situation I could never meet.

I worked child support enforcement before and I will tell you straight up that there are deadbeats, who won't support their kids. There are mom's who have a vengence out to destroy their ex husband or boyfriend financially and get as much blood from a stone as possible.  There are some moms out there who are ill suited to have child custody, but the courts default to the mom because they are conditioned to. Mom may be a crack whore with mental illness and it takes moving heaven and earth to get the kids to their dad who is employed, can take custody of the kids and deliver them from the nightmares they live in because of the "law."

Many times unfit fathers should be kept from their kids, so should unfit mothers. Dads do jail time for not paying child support due to anger issues and in some cases rightfully so. Some deadbeat moms get away with not paying, even when dad has custody because the courts just are generally not going to go after women the way they do men.

I tell my story so that other men primarily out there can assume the sad reality. Courts are biased toward moms and biased against dads. Now I am angered when a mom or dad will not support their children. But with willing accomplices in black robes moms have the advantage. Male or female judge it doesn't matter. It is a mindset.

I don't defend the true deadbeat mom or dad who will not support their kids financially whatever the excuse. I do not defend custodial parents who abuse the other parents parent time rights. I don't defend men and women in black who treat being a judge like an office job.

When a lawyer in a black robe can wield the gavel with no serious thought given to every case, such an incompetent boob should not be on the bench.  At state and local levels we have machinery to get rid of such judges, though most judges stay on the bench through retention election or direct election.

Federal judges can only be removed through impeachment and Senate conviction. That is it. They serve for life sane or insane.

Whatever the level of judge he or she must take their cases seriously, especially family law. Making deadbeats by default is the worst thing a judge can do and may they be held to account at some point through natural law or political system for their unjust rulings.

Good judges should be retained and lousy ones given the boot. Not every judge will make the right call all the time because they are imperfect. But too many bad calls in court should get them fired not rewarded with lifetime tenure.

That's how my blog got its name.