A Good Thing
There comes a time in a man's life when he asks himself a simple question: Is this a good thing? Many changes are taking place in my life now. I won't be too specific here in this blog, only to say that things are indeed changing.
Divorce is one of those things that is inevitably a life altering event. No two people experience it quite the same way. There are the so called "amicable" divorces vs the very nasty divorces. Marriage counselors, attorneys, mediators, judges all make up the divorce industry.
When all is said and done what is the best way to proceed after the dust has settled? Forward, backward, up, down, stay put? I would say the only direction not to go is backward, all others depend upon the given situation.
Even if you and your ex end up remarrying it will be a new relationship as the old one died with the divorce decree. So what is "the good thing?"
The good thing is that change is what you make of it. Things never are the same, even in stable marriages, divorce is the nuclear bomb so there will be a seismic shift.
There is the awkward dating scene. To join or not to join? Internet "dating." Do you know who is on the other end of the world wide web?
Sometimes I think to myself still coulda, shoulda, woulda. I think retrospect to a point is healthy. Self evaluation and honesty lead to making many of the same mistakes, while regret, self pity, and doubt lead to the demoralization of the soul.
There are a thousand experts out there from professionals to know it all friends and family. None of them completely have the right answer. Only God knows for sure, and whether He gets involved is His call.
I am blessed with an opportunity to really evaluate my future and decide are some of the people in my life, some of the things I am doing, some of the things I say good for me?
Experience is a hard teacher indeed, and harder if you don't get it the first time. I don't want to look beyond the mark, and I certainly don't want to fall short of it. There is no "correct" answer. Just a best guess. Only after decisions have been made do the real results manifest themselves whether it be in budgeting, love, seeing children, and family relationships.
I would not wish the divorce process on anyone. It is a route all to often taken for the most trivial reasons that when blown up, become non trivial. We rationalize marriage as a convenience rather than a social contract. The social contract only becomes all to apparent when we divorce and the courts get involved, children are divided up like property, and people in black robes bring down the gavel.
So why did I call this article "A Good Thing?" Because maybe in the end, tears are dried, wounds healed, questions answered, and closure obtained. One chapter of the life closes and the another opens, maybe to a new person that proves you can learn to love another all over again.
Experience obtained and lessons learned. These are good things. It is better that divorce never happen at all excepting extreme circumstances of breaching marital vows. But since divorce is so commonplace now, and I have felt its ugly hand, I have learned compassion, love, and greater tolerance. I have some great memories of what was and some hopeful expectations of things to come.
A new day and a new dawn will come. I am only now seeing the first signs of dawn, nevertheless the light is showing the sun undeniably rising again on mine and many other lives on the rebuild.
And that is a good thing.
Divorce is one of those things that is inevitably a life altering event. No two people experience it quite the same way. There are the so called "amicable" divorces vs the very nasty divorces. Marriage counselors, attorneys, mediators, judges all make up the divorce industry.
When all is said and done what is the best way to proceed after the dust has settled? Forward, backward, up, down, stay put? I would say the only direction not to go is backward, all others depend upon the given situation.
Even if you and your ex end up remarrying it will be a new relationship as the old one died with the divorce decree. So what is "the good thing?"
The good thing is that change is what you make of it. Things never are the same, even in stable marriages, divorce is the nuclear bomb so there will be a seismic shift.
There is the awkward dating scene. To join or not to join? Internet "dating." Do you know who is on the other end of the world wide web?
Sometimes I think to myself still coulda, shoulda, woulda. I think retrospect to a point is healthy. Self evaluation and honesty lead to making many of the same mistakes, while regret, self pity, and doubt lead to the demoralization of the soul.
There are a thousand experts out there from professionals to know it all friends and family. None of them completely have the right answer. Only God knows for sure, and whether He gets involved is His call.
I am blessed with an opportunity to really evaluate my future and decide are some of the people in my life, some of the things I am doing, some of the things I say good for me?
Experience is a hard teacher indeed, and harder if you don't get it the first time. I don't want to look beyond the mark, and I certainly don't want to fall short of it. There is no "correct" answer. Just a best guess. Only after decisions have been made do the real results manifest themselves whether it be in budgeting, love, seeing children, and family relationships.
I would not wish the divorce process on anyone. It is a route all to often taken for the most trivial reasons that when blown up, become non trivial. We rationalize marriage as a convenience rather than a social contract. The social contract only becomes all to apparent when we divorce and the courts get involved, children are divided up like property, and people in black robes bring down the gavel.
So why did I call this article "A Good Thing?" Because maybe in the end, tears are dried, wounds healed, questions answered, and closure obtained. One chapter of the life closes and the another opens, maybe to a new person that proves you can learn to love another all over again.
Experience obtained and lessons learned. These are good things. It is better that divorce never happen at all excepting extreme circumstances of breaching marital vows. But since divorce is so commonplace now, and I have felt its ugly hand, I have learned compassion, love, and greater tolerance. I have some great memories of what was and some hopeful expectations of things to come.
A new day and a new dawn will come. I am only now seeing the first signs of dawn, nevertheless the light is showing the sun undeniably rising again on mine and many other lives on the rebuild.
And that is a good thing.
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