Kids Need Dads
As a newly divorced father one of my purposes of this blog is to emphasize the need for fathers in their children's lives. Study after study have shown that children that do the best overall have a father in their home with the mother raising them. This is for both boys and girls.
Yet society in it's ever changing philosophy continues to minimize the roles of fathers in the home and in their children's lives. Often times we fathers are left on the outside looking in while the courts, legal system, social system, and world turn a blind eye.
The fact is and it is indisputable in human history, kids need fathers and positive male role models in their lives. Excluding the scum of the Earth men, most fathers try to play a role in their children's lives. Even the every other weekend dad makes an effort.
Dads make mistakes, there is no doubt about that. But there are differences between imperfect fathers and the true deadbeat dad. First let me clarify the three types of deadbeat dads.
1. The financial deadbeat. This man has to be compelled to financially support his kid(s). He avoids supporting his kids financially and the reasons vary. The fact that he does not meet his financial obligations out of choice, and not circumstance makes him a financial deadbeat.
2. The time deadbeat. This father does not spend hardly any time with his kids. He may send a check, but does not take the time or invest in being a father. Instead he pursues his worldly pleasures and takes precious father time away from his sons and daughters.
3. The hybrid deadbeat. This father does not support his kids financially OR with his time. He lacks in both areas. He uses every excuse in the book to avoid his obligations to his kids and this includes his time. Given money and time, time is the more important in this man's opinion.
A father who spends time with his kids both minor and adult is a father who is really stepping up to the plate. There is another undeniable truth. Ladies you never can or will be a dad. You make great moms and can fill the roles of two parents, but still lack in having the XY chromosome combo.
Not your fault. Men can't be mommies either. That takes a woman who loves and cares for her kids.
Children who are deprived of their children without real cause put the children at increased risk of not maturing socially, economically, in proper gender roles, both male and female, and have greater risks of being sexually irresponsible, getting into gangs, engaging in criminal behavior, etc.
The feminists and emasculated men of the world can continue to minimize the role of fathers. That is why I am writing this tonight. Fathers married, divorced, unwed, etc are important in their children's lives and nobody, including moms have the right without due cause to get in the way of the father child relationship.
Yet time and again the few bad men are stereotyped to all men. Fathers walk into courtrooms every day across the United States only to be treated like second class citizens by judges. Once a marital relationship is dissolved, the mother is not by default the best parents.
I have seen moms who are completely irresponsible awarded full custody. Rarely can dad get full custody, except mom is a complete basket case, and even then dad's get that raised eyebrow look.
Fathers need to demand greater say in their rights when marriages fail. They need to hold lawyers, judges, clergy, and especially the mothers of their children to account to make sure the children get the best possible opportunity. If one member of a marriage wants out, then the marriage is doomed unless the two parents can work it out. Divorce leaves both parents poorer, deprives them of rights due to restrictions placed on them, especially fathers, by the courts, and have devastating effects on the family, including extended. Everybody seems to feel the need to take a side. Even if they deny it, family and friends take sides. Not out of trying to be mean, its just human nature to support blood, male or female in families, friends siding with the person they feel closest to, usually the same sexed parent friend and on and on.
I as a dad will continue to fight for fathers' rights and join the cause that "Father Knows Best" as far as being a dad. Co parenting is a concept that is more bullshit than reality. It is really competitive parenting between ex husbands and wives and their offspring. Co parenting works in marriage and that is about it. The rest of the time it is competitive parenting. Each parent develops his or her style once the marriage breaks up. Kids see two sides to parenting. One parent may be more strict, the other not so much. One may demand more effort out of their kids, the other be more supportive of their kid's desires. Each parent competes to be the best influence in their kids lives and this is both good and bad. It depends on how one looks through the lenses.
Regardless fathers rights demands are growing and the days of default to mom for care are waning. As more mothers are in the workplace, and deviant behavior increases among women, the justice system is being forced to review its strategy. Moms, like dads are largely good caring women. But with more welfare queens and drug women entering into the picture, the landscape is changing.
I hope and pray this article somehow helps someone, man or woman, but mainly fathers know that trends are still against them if they divorce or have kids out of wedlock. Still the fight must be taken to all levels of government. Otherwise the same old garbage in garbage out in our court system will continue.
Yet society in it's ever changing philosophy continues to minimize the roles of fathers in the home and in their children's lives. Often times we fathers are left on the outside looking in while the courts, legal system, social system, and world turn a blind eye.
The fact is and it is indisputable in human history, kids need fathers and positive male role models in their lives. Excluding the scum of the Earth men, most fathers try to play a role in their children's lives. Even the every other weekend dad makes an effort.
Dads make mistakes, there is no doubt about that. But there are differences between imperfect fathers and the true deadbeat dad. First let me clarify the three types of deadbeat dads.
1. The financial deadbeat. This man has to be compelled to financially support his kid(s). He avoids supporting his kids financially and the reasons vary. The fact that he does not meet his financial obligations out of choice, and not circumstance makes him a financial deadbeat.
2. The time deadbeat. This father does not spend hardly any time with his kids. He may send a check, but does not take the time or invest in being a father. Instead he pursues his worldly pleasures and takes precious father time away from his sons and daughters.
3. The hybrid deadbeat. This father does not support his kids financially OR with his time. He lacks in both areas. He uses every excuse in the book to avoid his obligations to his kids and this includes his time. Given money and time, time is the more important in this man's opinion.
A father who spends time with his kids both minor and adult is a father who is really stepping up to the plate. There is another undeniable truth. Ladies you never can or will be a dad. You make great moms and can fill the roles of two parents, but still lack in having the XY chromosome combo.
Not your fault. Men can't be mommies either. That takes a woman who loves and cares for her kids.
Children who are deprived of their children without real cause put the children at increased risk of not maturing socially, economically, in proper gender roles, both male and female, and have greater risks of being sexually irresponsible, getting into gangs, engaging in criminal behavior, etc.
The feminists and emasculated men of the world can continue to minimize the role of fathers. That is why I am writing this tonight. Fathers married, divorced, unwed, etc are important in their children's lives and nobody, including moms have the right without due cause to get in the way of the father child relationship.
Yet time and again the few bad men are stereotyped to all men. Fathers walk into courtrooms every day across the United States only to be treated like second class citizens by judges. Once a marital relationship is dissolved, the mother is not by default the best parents.
I have seen moms who are completely irresponsible awarded full custody. Rarely can dad get full custody, except mom is a complete basket case, and even then dad's get that raised eyebrow look.
Fathers need to demand greater say in their rights when marriages fail. They need to hold lawyers, judges, clergy, and especially the mothers of their children to account to make sure the children get the best possible opportunity. If one member of a marriage wants out, then the marriage is doomed unless the two parents can work it out. Divorce leaves both parents poorer, deprives them of rights due to restrictions placed on them, especially fathers, by the courts, and have devastating effects on the family, including extended. Everybody seems to feel the need to take a side. Even if they deny it, family and friends take sides. Not out of trying to be mean, its just human nature to support blood, male or female in families, friends siding with the person they feel closest to, usually the same sexed parent friend and on and on.
I as a dad will continue to fight for fathers' rights and join the cause that "Father Knows Best" as far as being a dad. Co parenting is a concept that is more bullshit than reality. It is really competitive parenting between ex husbands and wives and their offspring. Co parenting works in marriage and that is about it. The rest of the time it is competitive parenting. Each parent develops his or her style once the marriage breaks up. Kids see two sides to parenting. One parent may be more strict, the other not so much. One may demand more effort out of their kids, the other be more supportive of their kid's desires. Each parent competes to be the best influence in their kids lives and this is both good and bad. It depends on how one looks through the lenses.
Regardless fathers rights demands are growing and the days of default to mom for care are waning. As more mothers are in the workplace, and deviant behavior increases among women, the justice system is being forced to review its strategy. Moms, like dads are largely good caring women. But with more welfare queens and drug women entering into the picture, the landscape is changing.
I hope and pray this article somehow helps someone, man or woman, but mainly fathers know that trends are still against them if they divorce or have kids out of wedlock. Still the fight must be taken to all levels of government. Otherwise the same old garbage in garbage out in our court system will continue.
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